i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
