quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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