Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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