Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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