Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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