I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
