Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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