he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
