You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
