i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
