I hate your face
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want to make out with him forever
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
