guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
