Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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