its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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