also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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