There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
