I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
