Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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