Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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