hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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