also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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