Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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