if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
