you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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