Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
