He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
