It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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