Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
