No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
