I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
