were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
