On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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