me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
