Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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