Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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