Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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