remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This baby is an asshole
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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