I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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