No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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