You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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