mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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