did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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