your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm at about main and main street
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
