I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
