After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
