Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please don't give away my fajitas
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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