I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize