there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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