Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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