Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
