My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize