A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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