And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
