what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
