No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
