i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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