he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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