News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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