Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
