I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
