I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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