I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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